New York City has been the backdrop for cinematic love stories such as Breakfast at Tiffany’s and West Side Story, but many modern New York love stories now come with a twist.
In 1995, technology transformed the dating world, changing love at first sight to love at first click. One-third of U.S. marriages now begin online, and many relationships now start with a swipe.
A new-age New York love story
An account director for a New York City branding company found his current girlfriend through internet dating services.
He began using dating apps because he found Manhattan was an especially tough place to date.
“In New York, it’s really hard to meet people organically,” he said. “I lived in the city for a couple of years, but [millennials] work a lot of hours.”
Using OKCupid and Tinder, he went on many dates, but none of the relationships stuck.
“OKCupid was pretty good, Tinder was a little bit skeevy,” he said. “I went on a few dates on Tinder but nothing serious. The only issue I found with these apps was ghosting.”
He explained that ghosting — ending a relationship with someone by suddenly and inexplicably withdrawing from all communication — is a common downside to online dating.
“In a big city, you’re so overwhelmed with how many choices there are,” he said. “You enjoy one person for two weeks, and then you’ll try something else just because there are other options.”
Looking on Hinge
Once he transitioned to his third dating app, Hinge, he met his current girlfriend.
“It connected through your Facebook,” he explained. “It wouldn’t pair you with people you were already friends with, but you’d match with people who were friends of friends of yours.”
He swiped right on his current girlfriend and sent her a message.
“She was actually the only person I ever met with the app,” he said.
Finding the right match
Though dating apps can be intimidating, he found that they were the best way for him to find the right person.
“I was in my late 20s, and I pretty much knew what I was looking for,” he said. “People in their late 20s are a little more serious about finding a relationship.”
He also found that online dating helped him avoid the common problems that he ran into when he tried to meet people organically. He deemed the workplace off-limits and found that social events weren’t ideal.
“Telling yourself that you’re gonna meet someone at the bar doesn’t actually work,” he said.
Though they can seem unconventional, dating apps can be the best way for some people to start serious and lasting relationships.
“There’s a lot of luck involved when finding people,” he said. “I normally wouldn’t have found my girlfriend without it.”
Interviewed by Emani Lea, formatted by Julia Carmel
Have something to add to this story? Comment below or join the discussion on Facebook.
Header image: Adobe Stock
