Confession: I Have $13.08 in My Bank Account, But It’s the Freakin’ Weekend And I Gotta Have Me Some Fun

N’SYNC lied to me. “Thank God it’s Friday night. And I just got paid.” LIES. Salary jobs pay you twice a month, not every Friday, J.T. Which is why, after my rent check clears, I’m involuntarily on the $10-‘til-mid-month diet. I’m not alone, right?

Look, I’m trying to budget. I really am. But it’s hard with all the distractions like Brunch! Someone’s birthday! Not to mention the financial burden that is all my friends getting married. Apparently, “I’ll make the next one,” is not a P.C. way to RSVP to a wedding.

Oh, and my parents cut me off after I spent $500 on clip-on hair extensions, that I then returned after doing shrooms and seeing the ghost of the hair’s original owner. But if my parents ask I realized it was a “financially irresponsible decision.”

Then there are the student loans. Great news,  I found a loophole. Did you know you don’t have to pay your student loans if you die? So all you have to do is fake your death and…

It’s got to be easier than this.

Apparently your 20s are all about making mistakes, but how can you make mistakes when you’re completely broke?

Saving money is somewhat of an art and art should be shared. So here are some money saving hacks I’ve used so that I can make mistakes over the weekend. Some are great. Others I’m not so proud of. But the Internet is a safe place… right?

I booked a hotel last minute

Probably the opposite of the advice you were expecting in a “How to Save Money” article, but my twin cousins and I were stumbling around New York City on a Monday night and it was 2AM and we needed a place to crash. They wanted to stay at a hostel. I wasn’t in the mood to get bed bugs…again (the unsung Los Angeles epidemic).

So, I used my Hotels Tonight app and scored a room at a nice hotel for $160, which would’ve been $500 if I was “responsible” and booked the night before. Hey, it pays off to be a mess!

I quit a wedding

Dick move, I know. I was a bridesmaid and I quit. But after getting into a car accident and having to spend my weekly paycheck on a rental car while my car was in the shop, I had no money for my flight. I still don’t talk to the bride, but we were never that good of friends to begin with.

Alright, you shouldn’t quit a wedding, but you can say no. If you don’t have the funds to be in your friend’s wedding, tell them. Know that if you’re coming from out of town, you don’t have to fly out for everything. And if your friend can’t understand that then, well, they’re not really your friend anyway.

Ask for help

You’d be surprised what you can get when you just ask. I recently had a great experience with Jet Blue — my favorite airline and the one I flew out to Los Angeles to follow my dreams. When I didn’t have money to fly out for my best friend’s wedding and Mom’s birthday, I wrote them a nice e-mail and they gave me a credit.

Happy Hour & Brunch

If I go out, I pretty much exclusively go to happy hours and brunch. Some really great restaurants have sweet happy hour deals, even on Saturdays. It’s just silly to spend upwards of $50 on food and drinks for one, when you can get a week’s worth of groceries at that price. (At Trader Joes, not Whole Foods. Let’s be real, at Whole Foods $50 would get you like one Kombucha.)

Also brunch. You can’t beat besties, bottomless mimosas and eggs benedict. This is much more cost efficient than a Saturday night out with sushi and shots. Also, brunch spots tend to be quieter than a club or bar – so you can actually catch up with your friends. Which is why you go out with them in the first place… right?

I Went on a Ton of Dates

Yes, I know this sounds super anti-feminist and I’ll probably get a lot of shade for even typing it. But, we still get paid 75 cents to the dollar and, to be fair, I’ve always been the girl to do the wallet grab or split the bill.

Then I tried this new thing. I went on a date pretty much every night for a week and when the check came I didn’t reach for my wallet. I just smiled and sat there. And the guys had no problem paying. I guess I’m just that much of a good time.

But seriously I had a great time and met some amazing people I wouldn’t have met otherwise. Although, I’m sure if they’re reading this I probably won’t see them again, but hey, anything for you, Reader.

I Haggled

I found my dream jumper on sale at Anthropologie. Only problem was that it was kind of falling apart. I told the sales associate and they gave me a 20 percent discount. I fixed the damage with a needle and thread, and I’ve been wearing that jumper ever since.

So hate me or love me, that’s how I saved money so I could relish in weekend mistakes. If these tips feel a little too risky or ballsy for you, I guess staying in while drinking boxed wine and binge watching Netflix is also a mistake. Do you, Boo.