Janet Yellen and Fed Keep Credit Easy, Draw Ire of Grumpy GenFKD Staffer
Everyone can chill the fuzz out. Janet Yellen and her cohorts at the all-mighty Federal Reserve opted not to raise the baseline interest rate at their September conference.
Improving economic conditions domestically and the slow, but steady, tightening of the labor market were not enough to convince our nation’s Gringots to raise rates for the first time post-Recession. Yellen and Co. cited the lack of domestic inflation, owing to some still-hidden slack in employment, and shaky economic conditions globally as the key factors keeping credit easy.
Opposition to the Fed’s decision includes GenFKD Outreach Coordinator and part-time Rick Perry body double Mike Gorman. Nursing a cup of cheap coffee, Gorman was seen grousing, “That’s fine. Sure, I get it. But at some point, why the fuck do I even bother having a savings account?”
Your move Yellen.
Da Donald Running Out of Material
In the wake of a debate performance that was tepid at best by his blustery standards, The Mighty Combover has dipped back into his bag of bigotry to recapture headlines.
Under attack from fellow Republican contenders and the Reagan Library’s heat lamps alike, Donald Trump failed to generate the same hype at Wednesday’s GOP debate as he did in August’s initial bout. In order to escape the shade, Trump resuscitated one of his old tricks Thursday, saying that he would “look at” one man’s super-informed concern that President Obama is a Muslim trying to destroy the country.
Of course, the “Birther” issue was put to bed several years ago, with Mr. Trump hilariously roasted for coordinating the nation-wide “look at” President Obama’s birth certificate.
National Day of the Day
Today’s national made-up holiday of the day is “National Cheeseburger Day” which means food purveyors from sea to shining sea will be offering discounts on mounds of processed beef between two pieces of bread.
The timing couldn’t be better for those who like to eat when they’re sad, as today commemorates the 165th anniversary of the U.S. Congress passing the Fugitive Slave Act. For those who slept through their U.S. history course, this legislation stipulated that any person who escaped from bondage must be returned to the person who considered them to be their property.
Bon appetite.
